So I made it for one week on the strict diet that my chiropractor told me to do. But by Friday I was so depressed I quite and just ate gluten and corn free. Since that time things have been looking up quite a bit. Well, until Monday night when I had really bad indigestion. It is so hard for me to separate what is a food allergy induced response and what is just a side effect of pregnancy. I know indigestion is part of being pregnant. Today I was frustrated because since I was not home to make dinner last night I did not have left overs to bring for lunch. I did have some GF bread I made over the weekend and so I hoped I could find some lunch meat to put on it. I called Boars Head to see if any of their meats were gluten and corn free. I found out that they are all gluten free but only three are corn free. So I went to Ralphs and they did not have the meat I needed. I felt like crying. This may seem extreme to some but for me this whole thing is just overwhelming at times. Some days I am doing great and other days I just feel flat out frustrated.
The other thing this leads to is my anxiety. For those of you who have not experienced true anxiety it may be hard to relate to someone like myself. You may think to yourself well you just need to calm down and relax, stop worrying it will all work itself out. I wish it was this easy. I know in my head everything will be fine but I still cannot stop the side affects that come along with it. I actually think this is the primary reason that i am having indigestion right now. I am getting ready to face a huge change and things are a bit uncertain right now. I have not been able to talk with my boss yet about what my future working situation looks like. We just found out on Monday some wonderful news about my husbands schedule for work. It looks like as of August 1 he will be working Wed, Thur, Friday and every other Sat. This is the best schedule we could have hoped for. So every two weeks we will have Saturday and Sunday off together! What a gift that is going to be and two days a week he can watch our daughter. I need to have the conversation with my boss and see what my life is going to look like after my maternity leave.
This post probably seems quite random especially to those of you who really do not know me or have not know me for the past couple of years. But this is my truth for today and why I think I feel a bit down. At times I do not want to post things that are so real but today I don't really care. This is me... take it or leave it!
God is good no matter how life is going and my life is great! Food allergies are just a small hick-up in the grand scheme of what others go through. Just for today I am going to try and figure out what to make for dinner when I get home that will not upset my stomach and I am going to go on a walk and take care of myself.
4 comments:
Aw..I'm sorry you are feeling so overwhelmed Jules..but your honesty is great. We all have days like that! And, just so you know, I have anxiety too, and it sucks. I even had panic attacks for a while last summer, but thank goodness, no more. I hope that you are able to feel better and that the talk with your boss goes well. Love you!
i actually think the food stuff sounds very frustrating. i cannot imagine having to be so intentional about what i put in my mouth in fear it might make me sick (ok, maybe the fear is it makes me fat but fat is still better than sick). i'm glad to hear that frank's schedule is going to work out. try to talk to your boss soon so you don't have to carry the burden. Thinking of you.
hey julie... thanks for sharing what's going on. i know i don't know you all that well either, but i just wanted to let you know that i can so relate to just not knowing what this new chapter of life is going to look like and that it can be so overwhelming... especially in light of being pregnant and all of the emotion that comes with that in the first place! we've had an up and down ride as well with figuring out what things are going to look like as i go back to work... but God truly TRULY does work all things out. i'll say a few prayers for your work situation. also... if you have any questions when it comes to delivery, what to expect, etc? i'd love to share or just listen :) take care.
Julie you look gorgeous! I am so sorry about your food allergies. Both my best friend and sister-in-law have Celiac disease. If you want info on recipes, snacks or really good gluten free food items let me know and i'll put you in touch with them! My sister-in-law and her mom have researched and bought tons of products and could give you advice on the better products.
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